Fake news and commentary, published from Scotland
In the USA they drive on the left of the road. In Helensburgh, we drive on what’s left of the road. News and updates on the byways of the ‘Burgh.
On the afternoon of Saturday the 17th of February, the rapid charger beside the electrical cabinet at the pier car park began smoking due to a component failure. The local fire brigade were quick to attend, shutting down the apparatus and ensuring the area was safe. Perhaps being more safe than sorry, the ‘brigade taped […]
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Popular walking routes, The Three Lochs Way and The John Muir Way could soon be joined by a new route for tourists to tackle. Although perhaps not as scenic as the others, the shorter “Three Gridlocks Way” will allow keen walkers to take in three different gridlocks in Helensburgh. Walkers tackling the route can start […]
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With Helensburgh evidently being the town where streets have no name, the ‘Adviser reached out to representatives for Irish rock band U2 for comment on the obvious parallels between the town and their song “Where the streets have no name.” Although Bono and Edge were unavailable, a spokesperson for the band commented that Helensburgh’s faded […]
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An ill-timed, half-hearted attempt at road resurfacing led to clouds of dust along East Clyde street until torrential rain brought rising water levels.
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Decades of determined campaigning led by the ‘Adviser’s own George Ramsgate results in a sleek new layer of tarmac on the quiet side-street.
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Heavy fog that beset Helensburgh during the festive season has been declared “a wonderful gift” by drivers intent on driving around with their fog lights on all year round.
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Although a final decision on the fate of the site’s challenging parking meters has yet to be made, the ‘Adviser has learned that the machines could feature in a popular entrapment game.
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A handful of hasty drivers are ensuring that those who arrive early and park along the seawall are then trapped upon their return to Craigendoran Station.
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An intensive search of the Helensburgh area has ended in relief after a missing couple were found to be merely stuck at the four-way stop in place at the bottom of Henry Bell Street.
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A file anonymously sent to the Helensburgh Adviser has unveiled a clutch of street names that could make the grade for the new build estate.
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